Here's What I'm Thinking We Should Do

I have the best internship ever. If you’ve texted me or talked to me in the last month,  I might have said otherwise, but I truly am thankful for what I get to do. I am an intern for the Chicago Bandits Women’s Professional Softball Team (if you’re in the area and need tickets, hmu for a great deal).  I do everything from selling tickets to helping with merchandise and the other day I even got to be the mascot, Swiper (shhh don’t tell anyone). Recently, I’ve been “Swiper’s Helper” which means I walk around and make sure that no one pulls off his tail or trips him down the stairs. I ensure that the mascot is safe (Risk Management 2.0, if you will). So yesterday, there was a big group of special needs kids and adults watching the Bandits play. They were all sitting in a section together and were ECSTATIC to see Swiper. They all took pictures and were beaming with excitement. Their parents watched on with such joy. It was nice to see a group so happy to see Swiper, instead of a two-year-old screaming in fear. I’ve had to say “No no no sweetie, Swiper is so nice!” one too many times to children under the age of five. Anyway, after they all took their pictures and hugged Swiper, a mother from another section came over to the special needs area with her two children. Her children, that were not special needs, were posing with Swiper and the mother was visibly flustered because she couldn’t open the camera on her iPhone. She yelled to her kids and said, “I can’t get this camera to open- I am literally retarded!!!” In that moment, everything stopped. I’m not kidding, it’s like time froze and this glass house that was built on joy and happiness was shattered. Any happiness was just completely ruined with one word. Everyone heard her and she didn’t show any remorse. To be honest, I don’t even think she realized what she had done. What crushed me the most was one father that heard her. He looked over and I could tell that his heart was broken. He had tears in his eyes and tried to make the best of the situation.  How many times do you think he has heard that word used to describe his daughter by careless people? To him, she is perfect. She should be perfect to everyone.  “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” (Psalm 139:14).  Hello- does anyone else see the “wonderfully made” part? Nowhere does it say “you are wonderfully made IF you’re pretty enough, smart enough, have the same amount of chromosomes as everyone else, don’t sit in a wheelchair, etc…” Nope. That’s for sure NOT in there. My fellow intern looked at me with disgust and just said “That’s not okay.”  I got in the car, called my mom, and cried. If I cried just from an act that I witnessed, I can’t imagine how the people that heard her say this felt. My heart truly can’t take it.

So you’re right, fellow intern, that’s not okay. There is so much controversy in the world- from gay rights to the confederate flag to vaccinations to foreign relations to, well, just about anything. However, what is not controversial is kindness. My favorite Bible verse, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, says, “ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” Those words can be found in the Bible, on inspirational calendars, tattooed on people, and even in Macklemore’s song “Same Love”. Those words aren't for the cookie-cutter "good people", they are for everyone. I think we all need to practice being kinder.

Here’s how I think we should do it: 

1) Love The Lord. People ask me why I love God so much and my answer is simple and always the same. “When everyone else is against me, I know that Someone is always for me.” PEOPLE!!!! We are so lucky to have a God that loves us and gave his only Son for us. I can honestly say, and MANY people can attest to this, I screw up literally all the time. However, God still thinks I rock and really, that’s all I need. If you’re having trouble with this step, let me know. I would love to talk about it with you. It’s okay if you are- there are great things ahead for you!

2) Love others. Get it out of your head that you are better than anyone else. It might be cliché to say, but you really never know what someone is dealing with in life. You might think someone is weird or annoying, but in reality he/she probably really rocks when you get the chance to know him/her. There are people with different backgrounds, beliefs, histories,  etc…all around the world- take a chance and get to know someone new. That’s been one of my favorite things about my college experience at Texas Christian University. I am involved in many activities with many different people. I have gotten to meet people that have changed my life, and who knows if I would have met them without taking a chance and stepping outside of my comfort zone. Heck, even going to school so far away from home was stepping outside of my comfort zone, but I am so happy that I did. While we’re here, go ahead and eliminate the word “retarded” from your vocabulary. You’ve probably said it, and I know I have many times, but let’s eliminate it. Tell your friends to eliminate it, too. One of my favorite things about high school was volunteering with the Special Olympics, I love working with KinderFrogs at TCU, and I have members of my family that have special needs, so if you don’t feel like you have a reason to eliminate this word, just do it for me. I can guarantee you will be able to think of a different word. If you’re having trouble with this step, let me know. I would love to talk about it with you. It’s okay if you are- there are great things ahead for you!

3) Love yourself. You have to stop with the self-hate. If you’re like me, you can always find something wrong. “I don’t look good enough to impress him”, “I’m not smart enough to hang out with them”, “I’ll never make them proud enough”, etc… No No No!!! You, yes you, you are wonderful!!! You are loved!!! You have so many blessings and rights and freedoms and liberties! Whether you’re missing a chromosome, a leg, a parent, a home, a degree, whatever- you’re still great! Isn’t that wonderful? NEVER let anyone tell you otherwise. Be proud of who you are. It may take some time and some practice, but it’s worth it. We can all work on it together! If anyone tries to say that you’re anything but fabulous- send them my way!!! I’ll take care of it (respectfully). If you’re having trouble with this step, let me know. I would love to talk about it with you. It’s okay if you are- there are great things ahead for you!

Am I the best role model? Nope. Do I do everything I said above perfectly? Nope. That's the great part. I make a ton of mistakes, but learning from them makes it all worth it. 

So now you’ve read what I have to say. One sentence said by one woman genuinely changed my life. So, let’s eliminate the R-word all together. Eliminate any word that you aren’t proud to say. Also, you never know who is listening. We can all make the world a kinder and more compassionate place. Every person plays a huge part and together, we can make a better community and world. So, let’s do it!

“Watch your thoughts. They become words. Watch your words. They become deeds. Watch your deeds. They become habits. Watch your habits. They become character. Character is everything.”